Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
