Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
then he tried to convert me to islam
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
