The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
