Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
