based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
