i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
