you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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