nut hugger
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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