The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
