he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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