Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
