cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
