Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
