Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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