she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
