So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
