Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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