He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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