pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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