My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
wow bdsm is so cute
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
