I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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