3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize