Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
