Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
