He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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