apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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