4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
