you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
