hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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