Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
