he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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