I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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