If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
