I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
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