After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
