I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
