Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
