and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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