there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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