There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Randomize
