I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
