what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
