Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Randomize
