i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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