There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
