Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
