why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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