I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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