So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
