You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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