Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
