I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
